You are not alone. This is so relatable its honestly scary. I'm in a marriage with a cis-man for 4 years and I feel the same way about the lack of vulnerability, patience and just being seen honestly. In the last 4 years I've come out as bisexual to people. Resenting the fact that bi-erasure does exist and just because I'm into women doesn't mean I'm not into mean right?? Maybe not. I thought because I have had sex with men that there's no possible way for me to be a lesbian. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I have never thought sex was that great. When everyone was hormonal and trying to "get their kix", I wasn't on the train. I thought I just wasn't a sexual person. Does anyone share this issue? Thank you for your post. It was very eye opening and healing.